I used to wonder how people could say, “God told me…” because I never saw the heavens open and a booming voice come out… But it’s just not generally that way. Today, I hear Him more and more and sometimes He even makes me laugh… But it wasn’t like He just recently started speaking, I think I just wasn’t listening. Our society is always pushing to know more and be more, and it’s sort of like the world shaped us to think so much.

If I’m trying to understand the Word by pulling apart the words, dissecting them, and really trying to find some “understanding” of who God is… Then I’m leaning on my own understanding, which the word says not to do. So, it’s futile and it’s not really faith. Bible studies are totally important, but I’m talking about reading as if I can put the puzzle together and answer all of life’s questions. Because that was me at one point, trying to have a solid understanding with history and context and other languages… I was trying to be a scholar and not really a disciple or His daughter. I needed to be sure of God existing because I didn’t want to look crazy; to be totally honest.

I started this routine and it worked for me, maybe not you. I read, randomly without a plan (at any moment where I need to sit and wait or have a little free time; not a scheduled routine but almost daily). I’d write down the scriptures that stood out to me. They maybe didn’t mean much at the moment besides they stood out. So, I’d write the verse(s) and continue reading. Then, on a different day/time, I’d flip through the pages of my notebook and one of the verses I wrote down would do more than stand out, it would apply itself to a situation… Past or present. This brought healing, taught forgiveness, helped me see things differently… Eventually, words would pop into my mind randomly and sometimes I’d ignore it… But the times I’d obey would blow me away.

That was when I started to get to know the heart of God. It had nothing to do with my human understanding of what a particular word meant in Hebrew, or if I read KJV or NIV or ESV, nor did a sermon from another person have to explain it. It just made sense. I just knew. It was like He’s speaking to me.

So, I’ve noticed that when I actually stop trying to understand Him, He makes Himself known. I still like to dissect the word, learn history and context, and look at Greek and Hebrew, because I love learning and humanity is interesting to me… But, I’ve learned that listening is more valuable than doing or telling Him what I want. It’s as though I’m learning His language and the more we get to talking, the more I wanna know.

It can be hard to break old habits, but the more I hold myself accountable to truly seek Him in all places of my life and not just following blindly in religion, He awes me. He stays with us, everywhere we go… Even when we say He isn’t there… He stays.

I believe true freedom, true love, true joy started to birth itself in the moments when I acknowledge He’s there. So, if I pay attention and know that He’s always with me… To the point where every detail of my life is talked about with Him. The more we grow together, the easier it is to do as He says… Because I start to understand Him. Then I get honored to do things like sing for Him or watch a life change because of Him. I do fail every day though, somehow lol but He always forgives me when I realize I’m wrong 🤦 no one is really better than anyone, so if you embrace that and let God take you on an adventure, it will change your universe!

And for anyone who doesn’t believe, it probably sounds crazy. I would have thought I was crazy too. Now, looking at the aerial view of my life, I see Him everywhere… there’s no turning back at this point. He’s real and He’s awesome; what can I say? 🤷

♥️🙏