Have you ever wondered what it looks like behind the scenes of others lives? Spending time alone has made me think about my behind the scenes… The moments when it’s just me and God, no one else looking. Few really know what happens behind the scenes of your life. I had recently seen an image that said not to base your opinions of other people on the highlight reels of their lives. Social media has created a false sense of life, almost quite literally creating a new level of anxiety and depression.

A while back I had written something that talked a little bit about eavesdropping. It was a survival tactic of mine. As part of ensuring I was aware of my surroundings, it became a habit of mine to not just see what was happening around me but also to hear. However, this also gave me insight into the opinions of others, sometimes about me, that were not intended for all to hear. A few times, these opinions not only hurt me but also planted lies that I’d adopt as a part of my identity into my adulthood.

I’ve shared a lot of my heart, my mind, and the deep secret thoughts that encircle my everyday life. I’m told that it’s unwise and I know why. Not only do people misinterpret what you might say, but assumptions can be made, worries are born, and clarification is rarely sought out.

I removed myself from having a personal Facebook account for a while. Not just because of the whispers I’ve heard regarding the things I would write about, but also because I knew some of the truth behind the scenes of Facebook’s happiest looking individuals. We are not a world filled with happiness and struggle-free lives. Rather, we are a world that is riddled with struggle, trials, obstacles, traumas, and more often than not we are afraid to share these truths unless we have some form of positivity, motivation, or light at the end of the tunnel to share.

It seems as though we’ve disallowed ourselves the right to sometimes struggle. Or, we may know that we’re allowed to struggle but because of the opinions, whispers, and judgment of those around us, we remain hidden behind our highlight reels. Perhaps, the worst part about this stigma against showing our struggle is that while we are not alone whatsoever we make ourselves feel more alone than necessary. We also tend to tell one another that we won’t understand their struggles when we look as though we don’t struggle. With the internet, globally, we are more connected than we’ve ever been in history, yet we are also personally isolated.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what pain does to us. When devoid of wisdom and the love of God, we could be distraught, misled, and lies are often planted like poisonous seeds of weeds in our minds. These weeds can deter us, causing us to make decisions that result in mistakes bred from false understanding and the fear of pain becomes a protective survival tactic.

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. — James 1:2-4 NLT

When I was traveling in South America, years ago, I was sick, had a terrible heat rash, and it was uncomfortable… But I read these verses and it was like the Word of God was challenging me. It said, “Endure, Melissa. You always survive and get stronger.” Yet this was not a daily struggle. This was a moment in time that would come to pass by quickly and would produce a brief testimony in an already good story of missionary work. However, in other variations of these verses it says, “various trials,” meaning it’s not just the one and done trials, but also, quite often, the consistent, daily pressures of life.

What does that mean? Those feelings of loneliness, like no one understands… Those times when finances are a little messy and we don’t know what tomorrow holds… Those moments we fight amongst one another and our hearts hurt… The times we face our insecurities, fears, and try to heal old wounds… These are all, below the surface of their existence, opportunities for growth. Every moment our faith is tested and we endure, we come through the process a different person. We experience the joyful victory of God’s faithfulness. We find that where we once thought the sky was falling, we survived yet again. And… Upon reflection, we find that when the next similar situation occurs… we’ve survived it once, we can surely survive again.

So, coming back to the highlight reels of our lives… Why do we hide our treks through the various trials in our lives? There have been parts of scripture that says things like, “fools vent their feelings and wisdom holds their emotions to themselves,” or, “we are to be blameless in the sight of unbelievers,” and somehow we take these instructions as to look like we are a worry-free people. Paul, however, boasts of his weaknesses to showcase how God will use the foolish and weak to win battles against the knowledgeable and strong. We are the underdogs, the imperfect, messy ones… And because of Him, we win.

Perhaps, being transparent comes with the judgement of others. Perhaps, when others refuse to seek clarity from the spilt tea we pour about ourselves, we feel persecuted… However, maybe it’s not about us… Because when one person hears or reads something they relate to only to recognize that they’re not alone, after feeling alone for so long, they become the one out of ninety-nine. Perhaps, for loves sake, persecution can grow us as we endure until we find ourselves saved by the God who fought our battles.