Sometimes speaking my mind feels like fruitless attempts to obtain responses I may never get. So in this respect, silence is sometimes the only thing that makes sense. But I was silent for so long that at a certain point I came to realize that if I never ask–never speak up for what I desire… Then the chance of obtaining what I want are far lower.

I’d found there was value in honest communication. There is value in being bold and direct. It was like the parable of the talents… To do something, instead of nothing… Or like Esther who through wisdom had to do something… Instead of nothing. Like David who took down Goliath because while others did nothing, he had to do something… Peter had to cast the net one last time… He had to do something, instead of nothing…

But when you speak up more than once and no door opens, it’s perhaps better to turn the other way. Instead of fighting for things that never seem to fight for you, the only thing of value is to fight for souls of the Kingdom… Despite what I believe I want or think is best… An unopen door speaks volumes.

So, my silence becomes my last resort. It’s the calm after the storm… Because fighting for things can sometimes feel like a storm. Like a war. Chaos. Confusion. Sometimes hurtful, painful, humbling… but my silence just says that the war is over. I wave the white flag. I surrender. Because it’s just not worth it anymore. Some battles hurt more than they should and those are the battles I probably never needed to wage in the first place.

There are some who stand on the other side and pray that God will fight for them… Perhaps overjoyed by my willingness to lose this one. Maybe it was their prayer all along to not do the damage that a war often results in. Maybe that is a win to them. But little do they know that sometimes the fight is worth it and fear won for them a short battle, yet fear held them back from a reconciled victory… while wisdom walked away towards a victory that is far bigger than this battle ever could be.

Do we choose to fight for the ones who know not what they do? They say ignorance is not a sin… They say ignorance is bliss… But what if ignorance was a roadblock to a treasure of uncountable value? What if the prize after the battle was more bliss than ignorance can offer? What if what they believed to be wisdom was in fact fear?

What if the blind leap into a faith-filled hope was worth everything… But they believed that wisdom needed to see before they believed? Yet blessed are they who believe without seeing… If we never made mistakes and only played it safe, we’d not be who we are today.

So, though I will at some point decide to be silent… It often takes a war to bring about a silent surrender.

❤️