Years ago I had this conversation with an old friend about how she’d been seeing multiples of numbers all the time. Someone in the same room jumped into the conversation explaining that humans were instinctively seeking patterns as a natural means of survival. Lately, I’ve been thinking about the difference in how we, as humans, build and create. I often find myself comparing our creations to that of our creator, especially when painting.

Recently, I took a walk in the acreage of a friend’s home in the mountains. Spring had just sprouted and the uneven terrain that surrounded their house was littered with yellow and white wild flowers, tall grass, mossy boulders, fallen trees and the scattered holes in the ground leading to homes burrowed beneath by various animals. Standing among the vast variety of foliage, seemingly placed in random order, I had this remembrance of our creator.

While we build for efficiency and order. In a simple formula, we form straight lines and perfectly placed structures. We have mathematically mapped out neighborhoods and our patterns are planned for the long-term certainty that it will last. There’s a level of surety in our decisions as we create and plant our roots–at least to an extent that we hope.

Perhaps it’s the lack of roots I’ve lain throughout the course of my life, but I can’t help but admire the complex and seemingly scattered way all of creation is strewn about. To consider that a God of order is in control and has specifically placed every portion of His creation in it’s place is astonishing and awe-inspiring to me. The jagged edges of mountains, the rolling hills of various heights and valleys, the depths of the oceans that sometimes can’t be measured…

There’s so many details in this ecosystem, it’s my opinion to build in the simplistic order we’re more likely to adopt in our own ways would be boring. Perhaps from His perspective it’s of its own order but in our limited understanding it’s chaotic and out of order. God being all knowing sees our planet and allows it to thrive in a sense of chaos because He knows what He’s doing. All of creation, in return, lives in the certainty that God is in control and their own minds need no protection of surety to ease their worries in their day to day lives.

What changes when we take control? I believe that He, as a father would, encourages us to grow, evolve, and create. We’re made in His image and He’s an amazing creator. We were gifted dominion of the earth and all living things within it, but I can’t help but wonder if in the same way our freewill hurts one another, our freewill hinders the beauty of His creation.

Though I tend to be more of the intellectual, I find myself more open to the illogical, supernatural things of God the more I seek Him. By choosing to come into these encounters with God with the perspective of a child, there’s a need for the belief that anything is possible — superhero strength, mountains that move, resurrection… The miraculous.

But coming to God with a childlike, open mind means understanding that not every perfect line is the perfect option. It means that sometimes our intellect is incorrect. Sometimes the illogical is the best answer. Maybe our perfect math and ever evolving science isn’t as perfect as we’d like it to be. Where I once desired to paint realism as perfect as can be, and envied the artists who could… I find myself allowing crooked lines, layers upon layers of corrections, and the seemingly chaotic long-route to a masterpiece all my own. And in the same way I paint, with patience and acceptance, I walk through my days trusting God’s design before my own. I am always provided for, always have more than I need, and always loved.