From my point of view, I was treating life like a math problem. I was weighing outcomes that hadn't even presented themselves as possibilities. I was calculating what could be the worst to happen, the best to happen, and everything in between. Oblivious to how tortured I was, I thought I knew everything and I literally knew nothing.
It's as though I'm learning His language and the more we get to talking, the more I wanna know.
When I moved to Visalia, I left everyone and everything behind me. 5.5 years of a love became broken and time wasted. My closest family member was in turmoil. My dogs, whom I still miss and love deeply to this... Continue Reading →
If anyone knew me entirely... they'd walk away. At least, that's another lie I've embraced. If anyone took the time to know all the crazy... the darkness... the light... the good things and the bad... if they knew everything, I'd be too intense to even be around. So, I walk muffled and stuffed into whatever sized box seems appropriate for the time.
But here is a truth I've come to know and understand... what the world and all of these people think... doesn't matter. I can change myself, my choices, my circumstances. I can be happy. Deserving love and things is not something you need to be born into, it's something adequately and openly available... we just have to give it a chance.
Our love has two directions. It goes out and it comes in. God, who is love, never leaves and comes back... Rather, God is so big and so powerful that He quite literally goes and comes at the very same time. So, when you know Him and you look for Him, it's actually something that is happening on a constant basis. Unless, you disallow Him altogether.
Without God, giving and receiving love is completely imbalanced.
Because of this power, I am not that person anymore. But God has been teaching me baby steps... It's not a snap your fingers kind of process for all of us. In fact, I honestly don't believe God even wants that for me. He wants to walk with me through every single moment of healing.
It was a beautiful day... Full of laughter and memories of where we used to be. Reminders of how thankful I am to have found my savior. I was full. I was happy. I was grateful. I tried to spread... Continue Reading →
Here is the issue with the world of mental disorders. If you've never experienced it yourself, you will think we are crazy or lazy... but you'll not really be sure and when you ask, we tend to just say, "I'm just tired." Yet the truth is we're not just tired, we're overwhelmed, exhausted, and teeter on the edge of giving up. We are at war, not just with life, but with ourselves...
Jesus once met someone like me. She was afraid to be honest around people. She hid from her shame.
Rescued Hope 