HOPE has been the driving source of my life calling. I have survived, fought, withstood, and conquered, but sometimes it’s too much. For me, it took years of devastating failed attempts to thrive in a world that constantly took from me, and never gave back. I gave, and gave, and gave, and eventually I was exhausted, worn-down, and simply tired of surviving. I had no God, no like-minded person to help me, and I was utterly alone. When someone asks me why I switched from a hatred for religion to a love for Jesus, I often say that jumping into Christianity was more of a suicidal-last-resort attempt to survive one… last… time…

My beliefs prior to meeting Jesus, stemmed, primarily, from intellect. I spent hours thinking, analyzing, predicting, studying, and observing people. It was ingrained in me to pay attention, because as a child who was forced to grow up before I even started kindergarten, survival was my sole instinct. Upon studying the Bible from an open-minded perspective, studying the concept of worship, fellowship, and the psychology behind Christian concepts, it dawned on me… Jesus is not the problem, religion is the problem.

Not once have I read a suggestion from Jesus to place our own opinions of a person as fact, or judge people for their sins, let alone shame them. I’ve yet to see a verse in which Jesus said to disrespect, resent, and/or refuse to acknowledge someone simply because you disagree. Even more, I’ve heard a variety of Christians and their excuses for their judgements, perhaps the worst being, “we just don’t condone that…” Yes, I understand that it is healthy to set boundaries knowing that, in our own flawed humanity, it is our intention to protect ourselves and our loved ones from poor influences. However, while we fight to keep our laws and systems simple, cut and dry, black and white… we forget that if God created this world, He created variety.

We are a people of variety, every single one of us is unique. There isn’t a single human being exactly like another. From our physical body to our mind-heart-spirit, we are intricately unique. That uniqueness, like a glorious rainbow of never-ending color, shows me that our world is absolutely not black and white. I studied the Gospels and when the most important two laws Jesus quoted were to love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and then, like it, to love our neighbor as ourselves… Jesus became clear to me. Love was the answer… Love is our only HOPE.

HOPE stands for healing, obedience, perseverance, and evangelism, all a product of not only who I am, but who I’ve become. Hope alone is a driving force in all life, but it takes healing and obedience to persevere and because I can’t be quiet and let my neighbor suffer from not spending hours upon hours of studying, thinking, and questioning, evangelism became a part of my everyday life.

It is not my calling to preach to you, tell you to turn over your sinful ways and repent… it is, however, my calling to tell you that I know of a man – and God – who will love you right now, where you are, no matter how dark or broken. I can tell you about this man, but I need you to be open-minded. I wasn’t for 29 years and because of that, it took the stripping away of everything I worked so hard for and all the survival I’d endured to just sit and finally meet Jesus.

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